Hunter S Thompson. . . .

. . . . .passed away while I was in the Bay Area. And as I sit here I realize that he was a great American rebel. A true trouble maker of the best kind. Whats not to love about that.



I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson



I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -Hunter S. Thompson


I am writing this in transit, I am headed out on a 26 day seminar tour that will take me to Germany, Scotland, and Ireland. I have not been back to Germany since I lived there in Berlin many Years ago. It should be an interesting Month.

I just returned from Berkeley, and enjoyed the company of Alan, Lilly, and all the bay area crew very much. What a cool group of people. I also got to see a childhood friend I have not seen in almost 20 Years, and who is now taking classes at our Berkeley Gym. Rex was nice enough to shoot the whole seminar on video and we will most likely produce an instructional DVD from it in the next few Months. The whole trip once again served as a reminder that the value of SBGi really exists in the community of people.

Because of the length of my upcoming trip today, and the fact that I wont be taking a laptop, it is unlikely I will be updating this blog for a Month or so. As such, I will leave you with as many thoughts as I can before I head over the pond. . . .


Let him who seeks, not cease seeking until he finds, and when he finds, he will be troubled, and when he has been troubled, he will marvel. . . . .
-Gospel of Thomas

Surrender is the magic word. Surrender is the one word all religions, all myth, all philosophy, and all rational thought eventually settle on. . . . . . . . surrender.



Anytime I "think" my "thoughts" know something other then what actually IS, I suffer. It does not get simpler then that for me. It IS what I am willing to let go of, NOT what I am willing to strive for, which will eventually determine my level of freedom. Provided that letting go is done while maintaining an open heart throughout the entire process. Otherwise it is running from, not letting go of.

I am just learning this.

Death is the first, sex is the second, and the ego is third. I don't get free of anything by running from it. It grows when repressed. . . .and is made free by the light.

The light is consciousness. . .examanation, realization, transformation.

In that order often.



Si la fe es creer lo que no se ve, Poesia es crear lo que nunce se vera.

She said. . . . .Do you have to be the exception to every rule?!

I say please listen. . . .what is so compelling is not the moods, the eyes, the face, or body. What is compelling is what is behind all that. The eyes are the lens, the mood is the projection, but the light behind all that, that light is where I rests in you.

I wont stop until it is finished. Examination, realization, transformation, again and again.

So I will say clearly, don't surrender pain so readily. Let it cut more deeply. It will only make that light shine brighter if welcomed in an honest open way. And it will never push away, or scare away what is meant to be there, nothing ever can.



Yes. . . .you have seen me go there, and watched the heart open to you. Just remember those moments whenever anything else causes you to be disturbed. It is the only thing relevant about me.


Yes, I know from where I came!
Ever hungry like a flame
I consume myself and glow.
Light grows all that I conceive,
ashes everything I leave;
Flame I am assuredly.
-Rilke


I will leave you with something that occurred to me earlier today, as I state the obvious once again. . . . . . . . .The moment you really begin to listen to someone clearly is the same moment you really begin hearing yourself.



It will be good.

Consciousness. . . . .

. . . . and changing levels of consciousness, is the whole point.

The idea that there is something true, something real, and something eternal, that is present and accessible to you. . . .That idea has to come first. . . . . You have to be able to at least imagine it to start. Then, it usually seems to just show up, around the same time as the understanding about the interconnected nature of the entire universe. And about the sametime as the concept of non duality.



What I am speaking about is what all that means.

I sometimes lose track of that point along the way, and things arise which remind me again, aha. . .this is the point.

Athletics can be a great vehicle for experiencing this rise/change/realization of a certain level of consciousness beyond the "normal" state. The activity itself, by nature of the fact that it is physical, and because it involves some sort of "challenge" requires a certain level of concentration to execute at certain times.

Some "times" can be more fruitful for that change in consciousness then other times may be, for certain people. One of those times is competition. There is nothing magical about competition, but the combination of factors, the crowd, the emotions, the build up, the stress, all of it tends to require a more intense use of that skill. . . . .concentration.



Concentration when held long enough, can produce an alternate state of consciousness. A state where the actions of the athlete take place outside the realm of conscious thought. A state which if reflected upon by an serious, and brave human being, can bring into question the very nature of a persons existence.

Once that is understood, then that "point" can be reached in much simpler sets of circumstances. Within the Gym, driving in a car, talking with your child, or eating ice cream. Speaking specifically of athletics, the athlete may no longer need competition as time passes. Because they learn to use the physical activity itself for the same purpose, and therefore bypass the need for the added stress. Having realized how to achieve the same effect, using far less set up. . . a much more efficient, and readily accessible method opens up for me.



Not everyone will go there yet. And of those that do, fewer still will speak about it. That is neither positive or negative, it just is.

Now it is important for me to remember that this method for realization. . .athletics. . .is just one of MANY mechanisms. It holds certain advantages in that it is usually fairly healthy for the body, when done properly. It is internal, in that it requires no outside substances to be ingested or taken. And it is fast. Meaning it can take nearly everyone there given the right exposure to the right method.

It also has downfalls. It can be regressive if it reinforces the ego through the concept of "personal" achievement, will to power, pride-shame, measurement as a means of identity, and aggression.



All of which cast large shadows.

This is especially true if an athlete engages in competitive activity without the benefit, or understanding of any of these ideas. If the above mentioned points are never considered, then sports hold no more significant role then walking the dog, washing a dish, or taking a shower. Although all such activities prove useful at certain times.

Like all drugs, athletics in the BIG sense of the word, has a greater potential for a downside when taken in large doses. Read the dosage as the degree to which you identify with the activity through a sense of personal doership. Read smaller doses as a more private, simpler technique used to achieve freedom from that same doer concept.

One has far more potential for poison then the other. And each has it's time and place.

It is also important for me to remember the point. The point is the raising of consciousness, which when realized, leads to change in ones being, behavior, outlook, peace, happiness, and joy.

Remembering that realization occurs before any change in being can take place, is crucial.



Realizing that this is the greatest point of any physical activity, is beautiful.

Atheltics are not the only activity, or even the best activity for a human to realize this with. They are simply ONE activity, of MANY, and may in some cases be the best vehicle for a certain individual. While another mechanism may turn out to be ar more effective for another human being. This is natural. Which is the one for YOU can only be determined by YOU, and only from inside, from intuition, from following your heart. From, as Joseph Campbell would say, Following Your Bliss.

Painting, writing, bike riding, running, bird watching, knitting, playing music, listening to music, dancing, sex, certain types of stress, and intense compassion for any other human being, all can be vehicles. It is never for me to judge anyone else's vehicle. My job is just seeing how it IS a vehicle for them. . . the IS being what is happening NOW.

Once that point is really understood. . .competition outside ones self is not much of an issue. The search for self "image" loses it's power. And the reality of the day to day state of mind one holds, becomes the actual point.

Although I must speak honestly in my case and tell you I lose that point ALL the time. Only to remember again that it is ALWAYS right HERE, and always right NOW.

That is the deal with athletics.

And even if I know all this to be true, and can use it as such, there is still a tremendous amount of residual fear-desire that I hold to, and slowly, very slowly, realize I am letting go of. But always completely, and always now.



When that total surrender is achieved. . .surrender being the word of absolute importance as it contains no room for compromise. . .the only thing left is pure, natural, wise, Love.

Share that.

Freedom. . . .

. . .is the second best subject in the world.

The first is Love.

But fortunately for us, they are two words for the exact same thing.



It has been a few days since I have updated this blog. And these last few weeks have been too amazing to do justice to with words. Everyday becomes simpler. And I am slowing fading back. Back to where I belong. Cell phones, e-mails, and stories. . .time and place. But the present is much more interesting now.

Confusion is the root cause of suffering. Tell me something I don't know. But the solution doesn't exist in actions, or thoughts. Intellect and muscle hold no key to this lock. Both act as mechanisms which offer up reminders. Reminders open up events. And the events bring Grace. . . .and the Grace is the opening of the heart.

Right action follows.

Seeing changes me. That "change" in me is the opening and expansion of the Heart. That opening of the heart changes the course of events, the action.



You change, the world changes. . .never the other way around.

And if it was, tell me what the difference would be?

A true friends job is to remind you of that when you forget. The mechanisms used as reminders are vast, maybe limitless. And that is the beauty of it. It can't be boring that way, ever, if you really see what IS.

When I am upset about something past tense, my ego is running the show. It has been my experience that nine times out of ten the entire perspective I have on things is backwards and inside out, when my ego is involved. Who is playing what role, and why. . .all backwards. Check for yourself and see.



Back to freedom. . .freedom is what IS when I see things clearly.

Freedom is NOT something "you" can achieve through "hard work", "discipline", or force of "will". Although as long as I think i can make it happen. . .i keeps itself in the game. So hey, no worries. I must have it's reasons for the delay.

"All works of art are commissioned in the sense that no artist can create one by a simple act of will but must wait until what he believes to be a good idea for a work "comes" to him."
- W. H. Auden

My faith is knowing that what happens to me, happens to the exact degree and measure that is required in order for me to realize freedom.

Proof = I ask myself when suffering if I am Free. I never am, just then.

She told me that she worried she might come back a puddle. But then it was obvious to her that this was not the worry. The worry is WHAT could come back as a puddle? The question is always 'who am I', and the puddle. . .there is the reminder.

mechanism = realization = the heart = . . . . .



So together we will teach each other that freedom means love, and love means freedom. And if you think I am speaking of something related to external circumstances then you are now reading the wrong blog.

It is in your heart.


'Who am 'I' and from whence?'

thoughts disappear

And consciousness of Self then flashes forth

As the 'I-I' within the cavity

Of every seeker's Heart